Letters to My Daughters | My Dearest Sophie

Letters to My Daughters has been such an incredible blessing in my life. When I was invited to join this group some time a go I had no idea just how much it would mean to me. Our life absolutely centers around our children.  My husband is a stay at home father. I work from home. We are with our children around the clock with exception of course of the oldest three being in school and that means Sophia is with us 24 Hours a day. Our lifestyle is absolutely not for everyone but I am so grateful for these little people and the time I get to be with them.  There is a very special bond there for sure. I try to alternate my letters frequently. Sometimes something will happen. A milestone of sorts or even a hardship and it will prompt me to focus on one child specifically. Sometimes I admit I just grab my camera when I can find a sec and its the first child in front of me that happens to be there.

I also write Letters to my sons every month as well. I ultimately just want my children to have something with my voice in it when they grow older and I am no longer there. I want a legacy to leave for them. Something small but special where they can read their story from my heart.  I became a mother at just 18 years old and while I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and okay after being a mother almost 11 years now I still don’t know what I am doing half the time I am incredibly proud of all my children have accomplished, what we have accomplished together.  All I have to do is look at them. To talk with them. To be with them.. and know that I am making a contribution because I have no doubt these little people will grow up and be something special.  They will know their worth. And they will have these letters as proof.

I am also in this circle with some extraordinary woman who have come to be so dear to my heart. Next up in our group is one of the most beautiful and talented souls I have been blessed to call friend and I love her so much Julia Stotlar of Julia Stotlar Photography and you can find her beautiful letter HERE.

Dearest Sophia,

Oh my poor sweet girl. You have not caught a break this month. First it was the tummy bug and you were up all night sick to your stomach. Now it is a cold and you are up all night with a horrid stuffy/runny nose and your poor little lips are chapped to bleeding. I can’t tell you as a mother how hard it is to see you sick and run through the motions but not be able to just take away what ails you. If I could stand in your stead little girl I absolutely would. Sometimes I wish us mothers had a fairy wand we could wave it away with. Wouldn’t that be nice? I have to tell you though. I am so impressed Sophie. It hasn’t broken you. Sure we are getting extra cuddle time in these days and I secretly am soaking it up as much as possible because you are normally running around a million miles a minute and hugs aren’t the first thing on your mind but you are still your happy-go-lucky self. You don’t complain. You aren’t distressed in the least actually you are still in your own sweet imaginative world. Goodness I don’t want you to grow up. The night you came down with the stomach bug you woke up sick to your stomach and I had to jump in the shower with you and you were obviously ill but otherwise so brave if not a bit tired. I had to blink back tears standing in the shower watching you wretch and knowing how miserable you felt. You just curled up though in bed and fell back asleep. I was afraid to sleep myself, worried that if you woke again I wouldn’t hear you (though you do co-sleep so I guess that would be close to impossible) I finally fell asleep at five am and woke a couple hours later to find you must have gotten up in that time span, went to the bathroom and got sick and came back into bed not even waking me or making a peep. Oh did I feel horrible. But I also was honestly blown away you were that strong. You really are extraordinary in the best of ways.

There is so much going on in your little world these days.  I just want to remember it all so I find myself making notes here and there. Little quirks you have.  I love how infatuated you are with your reflection. You sit in the mirror and have long animated conversations with yourself.  You laugh at all your own jokes and change your voice appropriately to go along with your zany imaginary characters. You are one of the friendliest children I know though so that doesn’t surprise me. Of course you have quite a bit of sass to you too. You aren’t always sugar and honey and rainbows but I love that about you too.  You don’t need a lot of material things to keep you happy. You actually prefer not just the mirror but the floral arrangements. I can’t keep flowers in our house and actually buy them for you at this point. You pick them apart and put them in your hair. You play he-loves me he loves me not just like your big sister Lillian taught you (though I am not sure who “he” is). You make up your own songs and dress up and whirl around the office in your pretty princess dresses with the flowers plucked fresh out of the vase on the kitchen table. And I soak it all in. The best part though is when you tucker yourself out, or you are tired of playing and just need a break you come right over and snuggle up in my lap and fall asleep.  It is usually one of my favorite times of the day. This year when Noah went off to kindergarten and you were the last home all day I worried you would be lonely but I am seeing what an independent soul you are. You are perfectly contest having those few hours to yourself a day.  You get that from me you know.

Anyhow little bit hopefully next month brings us health.  In the mean time sweet pea I am selfishly enjoying the cuddles and extra bits of affection I get here and there.

I love you so much,

Mommy