It’s been a year of highs and lows. That is likely an understatement. In mid April my grandmother passed away. She was only 69 years old. I made the age old mistake of assuming there was just so much more time. We had long planned for sweet friends to visit from California the same day that my grandmother passed… and I’ll be honest. I didn’t want to get out of bed. It took every ounce in me to. But having friends rally around us and prove to be a beautiful distraction brought it’s own kind of healing. A very tiny sliver of my heart mended just being with them in the trenches. We went out to photograph their family and I will be honest, I was worried that creativity wouldn’t come. Sure, they are gorgeous and Colorado is gorgeous so under any normal circumstances they would be an instant muse. My heart though, it was so heavy. The one thing about grief that no one tells you about losing someone you love– is it physically hurts. There is actual pain. Pulling my camera out though, it just brought it all together. I wanted to give them images that I wish my grandmother had with her family… that I had with her.
And so we met in one of my favorite places to shoot, because there is peace in these mountains. We showed them around and I lugged my camera out and I slowly eased my way through the grief.
I don’t know if I did them justice, but there is love in these images. There is something a bit raw here. I put my very heart out there these days. It has been a few months since our loss, and I don’t think it gets any easier, but the work has come from a more honest place. I have been in touch with how important photography really is, something I didn’t even know I had lost.
And I feel so insanely thankful to get to this.
As photographers, we give the gift of memories. It’s the closest thing to the gift of time we can get to.