Letters To My Daughters | Dearest Lillian

    We are in the new house and sadly everything has been slipping a little with the new move. We have been busy busy  around here. The good thing is I have been really good about taking photos of my littles everyday. It is important to me to have images of my family. More so then anything else for what good is a gift or a talent of any kind if you can’t use it where it counts most.  I usually get the kids all set up and take them out for these projects. But since I have so many beautiful images of my children just sitting around on my computer it would be a shame not to share those right?! I mean our REAL life is going to matter to Lillian more so then my little family sessions. She is going to love those sure. I love those for sure. But I want her to know what life was REALLY like around here. We live a charmed, imperfect and often times hilarious existance. I want to embrace that and more importantly I want my children to embrace it!

    And Please follow the circle to Courtney Keim (and keep going through) to see all the gorgeous and amazing posts to the other talented mamas in our group! I am blessed to have made such WONDERFUL friends in these women and I just love going through their posts every month!

    Dearest Lillian,

    As of right now you are Ten Years, Four Months and Twenty Four Days old. I sat here tonight trying to grasp just how time has managed to really fly on by as it has. In fact some days I look at you like you are still that shy little four year old that held my hand wherever we went (even if it was just around the house) and snuck into bed with me when daddy went off to work early in the morning. Even crazier though I remember my very own tenth birthday. I remember the party at Nanny’s house and thinking I was such a big girl because double digits was a huge milestone. I wasn’t too old to not have a Barbie cake though.   You know the kind. The cake where the Barbie pops out the top and the cake is a full skirt. Your Nunu actually makes the best, most creative cakes. She always goes out of her way for her babies and grandbabies. I am sad you are missing out on time with her. You have always been closest to my mom (being the very first grandchild does hold a special place after all) and I know she misses you dearly living in CT. She will be visiting us soon though. I can feel it in my bones. And you know on another related note I actually played with barbies until I was about fourteen years old. I wasn’t the least bit embarrassed about it either. I am sure at your age you are starting to succumb to pressure to conform and be just like all the kids in your class. I know it was especially hard on you staying back this year and repeating fourth grade while all the kids you have grown up with and just met were moving on up. I know you sometimes feel like you need to have the same likes and dislikes but you see my sweet girl I am writing this very letter to let you in on a little secret. I don’t know everything. I know us mom’s do try to pretend we do, we don’t. But I do know at least one thing. You were born YOU for a reason. You were born to have your very own passions and loves and hobbies. You don’t have to follow trends and do what everyone else is doing. There is only ONE of you for a reason. God has special plans for you dear that include you only. You are perfectly imperfect and gorgeous and sweet and I wouldn’t want any other child in your place. The other day I told you were beautiful. I love to do that often. Not just beautiful on the outside but beautiful on the inside. But when I told you that you were beautiful, this one time in the sea of a million other times you looked at me funny. You looked at me almost with sadness in your eyes and you said “Really? Are you just saying that?” And I think I felt a piece of my heart drop away into my feet. I sometimes wish I could follow you around school. I want to make sure no one is being mean to you, or ignoring you or putting you down. But I know that sometimes you protect your children in ways that you can’t imagine. I have to let you grow up and be you and learn some life lessons for yourself because the ones we learn on our own always come with the biggest rewards. I also have to give you more credit. You are no longer that shy four year old you are now a beautiful young lady and you have to find your voice and it has to be YOU who discovers just how strong and amazing you are. (With gentle nudging from me I can’t really not be there in some way.) I see pieces of me in you. I haven’t even necessarily done anything to ingrain them. I believe you were given these little gifts in the womb. Our body language, your smile, your eyes are all so much mine sometimes. So I know when I am no longer here you will carry me in your heart everywhere you go. Anyhow Lillian more changes are headed your way. We will discuss those when we reach that bridge. But I need to close this out with the same thing I tell you all the time. You. Are. Beautiful. And special and sweet. And you will always be my little girl! I love you Lilybug!
    Love,

    Mama

     

    14 Lovely Comments  •  Leave a Comment for Sarah

    14 Beautiful Souls Commented

    1. Sara T says:

      Beautiful letter to your sweet Lillian. I love how forthright and honest you are with her. I think the more we are honest and careful about our words the more they trust what we say, the more they are willing to have great relationships with us. It is so important to build it with them while they are young and have that foundation. Aside from your glorious imagery. I am so in big puffy heart love with your B&W conversions. Looks like CO suits you all. Congrats on the big move!

    2. Gillian says:

      these are fabulous! i love the everyday feel of these, so beautiful.

    3. Kirsty says:

      Oh Sarah, she IS beautiful – and you can see her inner beauty shining through too – not only from your images, but your words, the way you describe her and talk to her in the way only a Mama who feels that beauty can – thank you for sharing your sweet, beautiful girl xx

    4. Sarah, Lillian has such a sweet and gentle soul. I can just tell by looking at your images. You are such a strong mother and I bet Lillian will follow in your free-spirited foot steps. Gorgeous images, as always!

    5. nicole says:

      Sarah amazing as always !! you inspire me to keep the simplicities of our lifes moments and realize those are the moments that matter the most ! you are blessed and have a true gift

    6. Debbie Wibowo says:

      Oh Sarah, I may not comment often on your pics that you post on your blog or FB, but do know that I keep following them! I love seeing a real life of your family and your beautiful family. Lily is just gorgeous, not only in the face but from what I observe she also has a beautiful heart and always willing to help others. Tell her that I believe she is beautiful inside out. That lovely freckles? They are extra special and I adore them. I even have a board on pinterest only for freckles. lol.

    7. Rashmi says:

      Sarah.. your Lillian is just so beautiful. I hope she always knows that because it is true.. from the outside for sure and from the inside too.. because with a mama like you, how could she not be?
      This in-between age is so difficult sometimes.. so many changes on the horizon.. i can relate to that so well. Love your beautiful heart. xoxox

    8. amy grace says:

      oh sarah…first, the way she holds her hands. i want to reach out and hug this kid. i hear your voice, in your words and images, like nothing could hold it back. so strong, so real, so honest and determinedly hopeful. her soul is beautiful. i hope she will continue to feel like herself, only getting better, being tested, learning more about what that means. with you at her side, she will make it through anything. i feel that. you capture her vulnerability as beautifully as her glow.

    9. shalonda says:

      oh sarah i adore the way you (i myself an guilty as charged) write EXACTLY HOW YOU SPEAK…or at least how i imagine you speak, ha…your images always speak to me and your words…well they hit me right in my heart. xoxo sweet friend

    10. Adriana says:

      Beautiful Sarah! She is lucky to have such a wonderful mother! I love all your lifestyle pics that you have been sharing. So glad I found you through photography! Your such an amazing, inspiring person!

    11. Kaela Green says:

      Thank you for sharing this. I keep thinking I need to write a new note for my boys. Time just flies. Especially in this season! Thank you also for reminding me to pick up my camera for my children- that was something I needed to hear. You’re absolutely right- what good is the gift if it’s not used for my family?

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