Letters To My Daughters | Dearest Sophie
Every month I write letters to my children. I do my very best to keep up on personal projects. Some fare better than others, and some months I seem to lose track of time or life catches up and I just miss a beat here or there but I do my best. I actually had images ready to go for this month’s letter. Then, as I was going through some older images I came across these and they made my heart ache. Partly happy and partly sad I knew that I had to share and this was what needed to be written about this month. This is where my heart is leading me. This letter could technically be for all four of our children, but looking through images from the past couple of years since we moved to Colorado I am really beginning to realize just how small and young Sophie was when we left. It also makes me realize there is a good chance there are so many things she won’t remember. While I am happy she will be a Coloradian through and through, it makes me sad that there are so many aspects of being a New Englander that she will have absolutely no idea about. Especially the parts about the family that still live there, including both sets of grandparents.
Please be sure to head to my dear friend, Amy Grace of Amy Grace Photography and read her tender letter to her daughter HERE.
Now that you are four, I am beginning to realize just how much of your childhood from here on out you will most likely start to remember years from now. You always seemed a bit “grown” for your age. You started walking before you were nine months old, your first words came early and you were speaking in sentences shortly there after. In fact by the time you hit 18 months, I could have a complete conversation with you. Being the youngest of four I know a lot of that was survival of the fittest. You wanted to keep up with your siblings, but even more so you wanted them to take notice of you. You wanted to be just like them. In many ways you still do. I can’t tell you how excited I am to see how your new baby brother will fit into that dynamic. You are such a bubbly, happy, shiny child. I have no doubt you will want to teach him all you know.
I was going through some older images the other day. and right off I noticed how tiny you were. Your little springy barely to the neck curls, your little diaper covered bottom. It is hard to believe you were just so little before we departed for Colorado. It honestly feels at times like you have always been here with us. Four years feels like ten. It truly does. As a matter of fact, even trying to imagine a time with you not here makes my heart ache. I stumbled on images of you baking “ugly” cupcakes with Nu-nu. All of your siblings grew up spending a good amount of time with both grandparents. They know just who they are and they have a wonderful bond. Frankly I worry that you didn’t get enough time. Sure, we do our best to visit but sometimes it is just not enough. I love Colorado. I love Colorado for you, little love. I love that you are making friends, building your own memories and experiences in such a grand and beautiful state. I love that moving here has afforded a lifestyle of us spending just about all our time together. But then I think of our time in Nu-nu’s kitchen baking and laughing. I see the pictures of you sitting on the table dipping in Nu-nu’s homemade frosting and it hurts. I hope that it doesn’t hurt you as well someday.
There are just a few things I want you to know. Your grandmother (Nunu as we call her) is a special woman. I am a lot like her. You can’t see it just now, but as I have grown into a woman, and even the role of a mother, I see it. I see my hands are her hands. My laugh is the same laugh. I have her compassion and sensitivity. It isn’t the same as having your grandmother live close by. I wish so much I could give you that. But you have pieces of her with you here always. And when she comes to visit it is just that much more special. We have many memories to make still. My ugly cupcakes may not taste like hers, but I have lots of love to give.
And Facetime is pretty cool.
Love you Sophiebug.