I am quickly becoming the queen of personal projects. I couldn’t resist this though truthfully because after months of writing to my daughters Lillian and Sophia I have had this aching empty guilty feeling. I have wanted to do this SO badly and was ready to take it on alone when a group arose of such insanely kind and talented ladies. I am so excited to get on with this. I admit I almost missed our very first post. Totally been chaos around here with sickies, work and other things and I forgot entirely to check in and then got a message from one of the sweet ladies letting me know the first post went up today. OOPS! So here it goes!!
This first letter will be for Noah. I had something big indeed planned but totally missed the bus so next month will have to bring that to fruition. That letter will be for BOTH my boys.
When did you become such a big boy? I don’t understand how it is possible that time has flown on by despite the fact that I am sure it was just the other day I held you in my arms and nuzzled the top of your head and took in your sweet newborn smell. It was intoxicating. You coslept until you were three and it seems like just yesterday you were cuddled into me and I remember how I would wake before you and just lay there and watch you sleep. Watch your lashes kiss your cheek, watch your chest softly move up and down. And I would thank God. I truly would. I still do. You are a little boy now. All of five and interested in your own adventures and your own motives. I often have to steal my kisses sometimes and when by chance you fall asleep next to me as you used to I still take a moment or two to watch you as I did when you were just a baby.
This year we met a huge milestone. You started kindergarten. I will never forget taking you to orientation and watching you observing and taking in everything around you. I wanted to coddle you. Take you home. I silently and quite selfishly wish we could wait just one more year for you to go off to school. But the inevitable is happening you are slowly growing up. From baby blocks to legos, from sturdy cardboard books to children’s stories with thin paper pages. I know that going off to school now you are learning so much. Not just about math and letters but about life. About friends. I know its good for you. But I silently think back to nursing you, cuddling you whenever the fancy called which was quite often. I am always excited to hear about your day, your new friends and your wonderful new teacher. But I do miss having you all to myself all day. I surely do.
So sweet, sweet boy please don’t rush growing up. I can’t handle much more in the near future! But know that mommy is here always. For cuddles, to hold your hand and wipe your fears and tears. I love you little prince.